the whole shebang

scene title:  they come in peace [scene 1] performers:  madison ivy, darcie dolce site:  digital playground (mindgeek) production credits:  françois clousot (dir.) trailer l: madison ivy, r: darcie dolce yeesh. i have not wanted to weigh in on a talking point that a vocal contingent of girl/girl fans insist on repeating, which is that darcie dolce is a fake lesbian and should be unceremoniously booed out of the industry. on the one hand, i refuse to claim to be able to read people's hearts, and darcie's statements that she enjoys having sex with women are good enough for me. on the other hand, i have never once bought her in a scene. which isn't to say she's a bad performer. she's definitely a weak actress, but that's different. (her casting here as some kind of, spoiler alert, emotionless alien is inspired.) she's an energetic and enthusiastic performer, which is all that many scenes require. she even on occasion manages to have chemistr...

scene title:  can't be away from you for another minute performers:  lacy lennon, serene siren site:  cherry pimps (pimp.xxx) production credits:  dean capture (dir.), lacy lennon (scr.) trailer l: serene siren, r: lacy lennon cherry pimps really does try. lacy lennon, the new it girl of early 2019, is their cherry of the month [sic] for april, and this girl/girl scene was, i gather, her brainchild: a scenario of closeted lesbian lovers in the 1940s or 50s, co-starring one of the few current girl/girl performers who could pull off the classic melodrama look. not that the period costuming goes beyond some ornate lingerie and long strings of plastic pearls: even their hairstyles are more of a reference to a generic past than a recreation of any particular style. a highly desaturated introduction, with lacy waiting anxiously by her phone for a serene who does not answer, establishes the fillip of narrative: when serene enters, she is distraught ...

scene title:  sapphic curse of the crystal skull performers:  adriana chechik, kissa sins site:  girlsway (gamma) production credits:  stills by alan (dir.) trailer l: adriana chechik, r: kissa sins i have complained so much about stills by alan's day-to-day girlsway work that i may have given the impression that i don't think he could be a competent director. but that's not true; it's just that on the usual schedule he maintained of two scenes per day over the past couple of years, he took a lot of shortcuts and attempted very little quality control. when he was working on more ambitious projects, like the features that first made girlsway a name to be reckoned with in the industry, but which had more recently slowed to a trickle as the engagement metrics failed to support them, he could produce work at least as good as the average shitty tv show. here, he uses a combination of drone footage over desert landscapes, shots of his stars hiking in t...

scene title:  the case of the mysterious panties performers:  kenna james, riley reid site:  girlsway (gamma) production credits:  stills by alan (dir.), zombie (ed.), ravefire63 (scr.) trailer l: kenna james, r: riley reid genre parody is such an easy way to make porn with a modicum of intelligence, it's surprising that there isn't more of it. perhaps the modicum of intelligence is the issue. the scene opens with riley reid sitting in an almost totally dark office except for convenient bars of light on her face and where the client will sit in the chair opposite, doing a bad philip marlowe impression in voiceover as kenna james walks in, distraught because her wife may be cheating on her. riley takes the case after being promised double. the budgets under which porn operates are obvious when the cheating wife she photos on a stakeout is clearly also kenna james (although the woman she's cheating with is a cameoing eliza ibarra). kenna is prese...