the whole shebang

scene title:  just hanging out performers:  vienna black, kiarra nava'hoe site:  we live together  ◅  reality kings (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: vienna black, r: kiarra nava'hoe our last mindgeek scene, from the most consistently mediocre mindgeek brand. reality kings is a volume business, pumping out bland, forgettable product with no distinctive style and no ambition whatever. the fact that worthwhile scenes still come off that production line is probably due more to the law of averages (and to the anonymous producers of those particular scenes) than to corporate strategy or editorial oversight. vienna black has been in the business for two years, while kiarra kai is new as of 2019, and undergoing the usual new-girl trouble of settling on a name. (in general, when a performer goes by more than one name, i use the name in the site credits in the blurbs above but tag them by the name they use on social media so i ...

scene title:  squirt training performers:  bonnie rotten, zoey monroe site:  hot and mean  ◅  brazzers (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: bonnie rotten, r: zoey monroe the last brazzers scene of the month cements their reputation as the silliest and most cartoonish site i've regularly covered here. i didn't believe a second of this scene in terms of emotional connection or sexual intimacy, but i was never asked to. the preposterous premise, with purple-haired zoey monroe in a sort of porn-stunt boot camp being drilled in her maneuvers by heavily-tattooed bonnie rotten, presents the basic reality of the scene as so heightened and stylized that it might as well have opened with the looney tunes theme. not that i'm complaining: psychologically credible and emotionally intimate pornography is great, but there's also a place for the high-energy circus-trick type of porn, in which the various things that the human body can do...

scene title:  the ex of my ex is my treat performers:  jayden cole, molly stewart site:  when girls play  ◅  twistys (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l jayden cole, r: molly stewart and we say farewell to twistys with this entry. because i like the visual ambition and dedication to beautiful imagery of glamour porn, i perhaps have more of a soft spot for twistys than their limited scenarios, ridiculous poses, and frequently unimaginative camerawork deserves. their quality of their scenes lives or dies on the performances, which is why my scores for the site are all over the place, but rarely very high: despite featuring all-stars like joanna angel, shyla jennings, angela white, and jenna sativa this month, none of them were at their best here, something i'm willing to blame more on mindgeek's micromanaged scripts than on the performers themselves. this scene also has a very basic scenario, hardly worth the telling: jayde...

scene title:  they come in peace [scene 1] performers:  madison ivy, darcie dolce site:  digital playground (mindgeek) production credits:  françois clousot (dir.) trailer l: madison ivy, r: darcie dolce yeesh. i have not wanted to weigh in on a talking point that a vocal contingent of girl/girl fans insist on repeating, which is that darcie dolce is a fake lesbian and should be unceremoniously booed out of the industry. on the one hand, i refuse to claim to be able to read people's hearts, and darcie's statements that she enjoys having sex with women are good enough for me. on the other hand, i have never once bought her in a scene. which isn't to say she's a bad performer. she's definitely a weak actress, but that's different. (her casting here as some kind of, spoiler alert, emotionless alien is inspired.) she's an energetic and enthusiastic performer, which is all that many scenes require. she even on occasion manages to have chemistr...

scene title:  wives with secret lives performers:  natasha nice, jessie lee site:  turning twistys  ◅  twistys (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: natasha nice, r: jessie lee the turning twistys series has brought scenario-oriented porn to the forefront of twistys for the first time in basically forever: the site's roots in pure glamour photography mean that the visuals have always led scenes, with scenario an afterthought or forgettable piece of fluff. i'm not going to say that they're now telling sophisticated stories; this is still one of the most basic porn setups available: new neighbor drops in on unsatisfied wife, fucks her ragged while oblivious husband (once more the mvp of nonsex roles, will pounder) putters around the kitchen. but the knowing seduction is nicely played, and while it's preposterous throughout both performers commit so strongly that i can't help rooting for them. the visual contrast between the ...

scene title:  we tease together performers:  abigail mac, ella knox site:  we live together  ◅  reality kings (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: abigail mac, r: ella knox in some ways this could be seen as a spiritual sequel to abigail mac's scene a few weeks back with kendra spade for mofos: two women putting on a performance of lesbian sexuality for an inadequate boyfriend at the other end of the video recording. but although thematically it's the same, psychologically it's the inverse: rather than taunting the unseen boyfriend with how much better abigail is at pleasing her, as kendra did, ella is doing it as a tease and an invitation to up his game. there's probably something more honest about girl/girl porn that explicitly invites the male gaze; performers who declare themselves to be bisexual are frequently candid about getting off to turning men on by interacting with women. my kneejerk discomfort (a common one a...

scene title:  #difs performers:  adira allure, lasirena69 site:  girls gone pink  ◅  mofos (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: lasirena69, r: adira allure i'd been waiting for the other shoe to drop, for mofos' girls gone pink brand to display just how soul-crushingly awful it can be, and here we go. but i want to be clear: very little of how terrible this scene was was the fault of the two performers at the center. adira allure and lasirena69 are new to porn as of this year, but they're already highly skilled professionals with excellent chemistry and maintain solid sexual enthusiasm despite the sophomoric bullshit surrounding them. because the scene is supposedly set in a dorm room among college students, and there are three men in the room (one of whom is holding the camera) before the two of them even arrive. a lot of girl/girl consumers have a hard-and-fast no dudes rule, and would rate this scene low or even disq...

scene title:  deuces are wild performers:  carter cruise, jayden cole site:  hot and mean  ◅  brazzers (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: jayden cole, r: carter cruise two girl/girl all-stars in a ridiculous high-concept scene for one of the few studios that reliably shoots ridiculous high-concept scenes in a compelling way? yes please. this could easily have been a twistys scene rather than a brazzers one, and the two leads playing poker competitors with a reason to hate each other at the beginning is the only reason it slots into the hot and mean theme. otherwise, in terms of lavish decor, radiant lighting, stylized costuming, and classy camerawork, it looks very much like a traditional glamour scene rather than the broader, sitcommy style brazzers is known for. not that i'm complaining, just noting a visual discrepancy as it occurs to me. the premise of the scene, a tense poker showdown in which jayden accuses carter...

scene title:  easter treat yourself performers:  nicole aniston, katana kombat site:  when girls play  ◅  twistys (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: katana kombat, r: nicole aniston the last time katana kombat appeared here, she was in charge of the scene with kenna james; this time the roles are reversed, as nicole aniston takes confident charge here and directs the action in smart and engaging ways. i haven't taken much opportunity over the years to enjoy nicole aniston's work (partly because she primarily does boy/girl), but she's a classic old-school pornstar, familiar with her angles and professional to the hilt. the very slight premise is wholly unconvincing, and even a bit nauseating, as the two of them enact a fluffy fantasy of simpering femininity that at least has the decency to be silent (set to dorky electronica) and brief. why two grown women would be undertaking this silly holiday ritual is a question so i...

scene title:  sneaky selfie student performers:  janna hicks, sofie reyez site:  moms lick teens  ◅  reality kings (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: sofie reyez, r: janna hicks this right here is the kind of thing that makes me embarrassed to watch porn. not that the rest of it isn't embarrassing in its way too, even the best of it: watching people have sex for twenty minutes or more at a time is just a fundamentally weird thing to want to do, no matter how it's gussied up with production, story, character, and design. but this has none of that. it has terrible production values, terrible storytelling, terrible character work, and terrible design choices. a lot of that is, i'm sorry to say, on the performers. sofie reyez as a naughty student taking nude selfies in the school bathroom is barely tolerable; janna hicks as the teacher or administrator or something who catches her and switches in rapid succession from "you can...

scene title:  bending the ballerina performers:  mary moody, vera king site:  when girls play  ◅  twistys (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer r: mary moody, l: vera king twistys may have retired the mom knows best brand, but i'm interested to see that they aren't wholly giving up on older/younger pairings. not that there's that much of an age gap between ballet student mary moody (26) and instructor vera king (32), despite mary's line of dialogue claiming to be eighteen. of course eighteen is close to retirement in the world of ballet, and no actual teenager with mary's figure would be encouraged to dance; but porn covers a multitude of sins. both performers are relatively new, having only been in the industry a couple of years; and mary, as a girl/girl only performer (her main gig is camming), has shot relatively little. that relative inexperience bears out in the performances, which are perfectly pleasant but a little awk...

scene title:  libero libido performers:  skyler nicole, cecilia lion site:  we live together  ◅  reality kings (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: cecilia lion, r: skyler nicole meanwhile, reality kings keeps right on trucking along with another entry in the welivetogether brand. this time up: cecilia lion and skyler nicole as volleyball players fighting over who gets to keep the ball as a trophy for their big win. it's a feather-slight pretext for a scene, and skyler slamming cecilia up against the lockers after she yanks the ball out of her hands one too many times would, in any genre but porn, be the beginning of an actual fight. but instead they both smirk, and skyler drops to her knees. if it was just sex from then on, it would be a dreadfully boring scene; but whether it was in the script or not (i tend to think it was, since mindgeek productions have a reputation for being micromanaged by corporate), they introduce a...

scene title:  kiss me if you can performers:  angela white, anny aurora site:  when girls play  ◅  twistys (mindgeek) production credits:  holly randall (dir.) trailer l: angela white, r: anny aurora in a curious coincidence, anny aurora's girl/girl showcase for april, during which she is reigning as twistys treat of the month [sic], dropped the same day as lacy lennon's same for cherry pimps. (maybe it's not so curious: exactly halfway through the month is a pretty obvious schedule.) anny's choice of angela goddamn white, the most successful and awarded pornstar of her generation, as her scene partner is inspired; the scenario is rather less so. in fact, calling it a scenario, rather than merely a visual montage, is generous; although interestingly it's the kind of thing that a well-read lesbian of the 1940s or 50s might have had erotic fantasies about. both women dress in gauzy semi-classical robes as if in imitation of greek nymphs, fro...

scene title:  honey, it's not what you think! performers:  bridgette b, romi rain site:  hot and mean  ◅  brazzers (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: romi rain, r: bridgette b i'm not going to lie, i did a small dorky dance of excitement when i saw that bridgette b had a scene i could review this month. i have no particular views on her as a person, but as a performer, she's one of the best in the business, oriented particularly around character and narrative, and so one of the great improvisers of dialogue not just of her generation of porn stars, but likely of all time. maybe i just think that because her particular tics of things she thinks of to say are things that i find hot, or maybe the slight hint of her spanish accent does it for me; but for my money when she's really feeling a scene there's not a better dirty-talker in the state of california. if she wasn't really feeling this scene it is undetectable: playing the...

scene title:  soft girl obedience performers:  jenna sativa, kayla paris site:  when girls play  ◅  twistys (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: jenna sativa, r: kayla paris i've always been a little skeptical of jenna sativa. not in the sense of the standard girl/girl fan "oh she's not really a lesbian" moaning, or even in the more discerning porn fan's belief that her white-of-the-eyes orgasms are over-the-top and inauthentic. i am one who appreciates any effort performers put in to convince the camera they're having orgasms, and i don't expect any girl/girl performer (whether exclusively so or not) to be a six on the kinsey scale. girl/girl porn is made for hetero consumption; if queer people are able to enjoy it too, that's a bonus rather than the objective. no, my issue with jenna sativa is that she rarely feels committed to the scene. i don't mean the sex: she's one of the top three or four all-time g...

scene title:  vagina vendetta performers:  abigail mac, kendra spade site:  girls gone pink  ◅  mofos (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: abigail mac, r: kendra spade oh god i said i wasn't going to talk about what gets me hard or wet, so i'll just note here that i have discovered, much later in life than i would have imagined possible, that i have a fetish i didn't realize i did. this is the second girls gone pink scene i'm reviewing, and kendra and abigail follow through on the handheld-camera premise much more extensively and imaginatively, and with greater narrative justification, than the silly gym antics of milana may and mackenzie moss. kendra is mad at a cheating boyfriend, and invites over the best friend she was cheated on with to film themselves fucking each other "better than he ever did." they trade off holding the camera while they go through any number of positions, never forgetting to remind the viewer ...

scene title:  untreatable part 2 performers:  sofi ryan, kenna james site:  digital playground (mindgeek) production credits:  françois clousot (dir.), zach (scr.) trailer l: sofi ryan, r: kenna james i'm a little disappointed that this is the first digital playground scene i've been able to cover all month. it seems that starting in april, digital playground has stopped producing stand-alone scenes under the flixxx brand and are only focused on features (full-length movies with four to five scenes aimed at the dvd market) now. this is of course a reversion to the studio's original purpose long before they were bought by mindgeek, but it does mean fewer scenes, of less variety, every month. it might also mean more budget for the features so that the overall quality is better, but as a girl/girl viewer, for me it means hoping for scraps from every production instead of being sure of a few scenes a month. the scraps in this production are sofi ry...

scene title:  the wakeup call performers:  ryan keely, kenzie reeves site:  moms lick teens  ◅  reality kings (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: kenzie reeves, r: ryan keely for once, ryan keely is not playing a stepmother. but then she never touches the actress who plays her daughter, who appears so briefly i wasn't able to identify her. her daughter's best friend, bad influence kenzie reeves, is sneaking her into the house in the early morning, and ryan, who woke up horny but whose husband just wants to sleep, discovers kenzie's stash of sex toys that she had been hoping to use on her friend. but like father, like daughter: so the two sexually frustrated women turn to each other. there have been worse premises, and there have been much worse performances of similar premises. but statuesque ryan keely is one of the greatest milf performers, as tiny kenzie reeves is absolutely the greatest pseudo-teen performer, of the cur...

scene title:  sorority row performers:  chloe cherry, ivy jones, mazzy grace site:  when girls play  ◅  twistys (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: chloe cherry, c: mazzy grace, r: ivy jones i have a confession to make: i don't care for young, willowy blondes. which doesn't mean i have anything against them either: young thin blondes are just as likely to make porn i'm interested in as anyone else. it's just that a scene predicated on the inherent desirability of the blonde nymphet has to get past my inevitable eyeroll and heavy sigh before capturing my attention with vivid personalities, interesting situations, or striking aesthetics. this doesn't feature any of the above. the exceedingly slight premise (three sorority girls practicing a cheer squabble over choreography, then literally kiss and make up) is an excuse for z-grade acting (only chloe cherry is remotely engaging, perhaps because i've seen her before and kn...

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