the whole shebang

scene title:  locker room lesbian fun performers:  mercedes carrera, lyra law, emma hix, olive glass site:  zero tolerance production credits:  mike quasar (dir.) trailer l to r: lyra law, mercedes carrera, olive glass, emma hix although this is one of the longest scenes i've reviewed so far on the site, the review will be brief. there's little to say. i'm using the "recycled" tag for anything that was released on dvd before being posted on websites for streaming or download, and this is one of the oldest scenes yet: its parent dvd, lesbian gym teacher gangbang, was released in april 2018. it barely counts as new, but because it hasn't been available in any format higher than 480p before now, i'm reviewing it. mercedes carrera (whose politics i despise, but about whose guilt or innocence of the current charges against her i am unwilling to speculate) plays the gym teacher ravished in the locker room by her three students, none of whom are

scene title:  rocky loves kate obsession performers:  kate kennedy, rocky emerson site:  spizoo production credits:  none listed trailer l: kate kennedy, r: rocky emerson i've talked at length about my feelings on gonzo already; and if mason at lesbianx produces some of the best gonzo in porn, the mostly uncredited and wildly variable production crews that produce content for spizoo produce some of the most consistently mediocre gonzo. which is a shame, because i like the ethos behind spizoo a lot: founded by 2000s-era porn legend jessica jaymes, it's closer to a partnership with the performers who use the service to host their content than it is a corporate employer of talent. but not every performer has the best eye for or interest in quality control; so spizoo's output is, as i say, variable. i know kate kennedy and rocky emerson more by reputation than through having seen much of their work; they seem like perfectly lovely people, and fully engaged

scene title:  straight until wet performers:  mia lelani, brooklyn gray site:  mylfed  ◅  mylf (paper street) production credits:  none listed trailer r: brooklyn gray, l: mia lelani the last time i reviewed a scene featuring mia lelani, i said that if the baseline for competent porn was that good, the industry would be in much better shape. the baseline for competent porn, however, is much closer to this. an excruciatingly prolonged setup in which none of the people involved act like people actually would, clothing that nobody who isn't in a porn would be caught dead wearing, sexuality introduced not because it arises from the situation but because it's a porn so it has to, a generic upper-middle-class setting that for some reason still echoes like a warehouse, the premise entirely abandoned after thirty seconds of over-the-top moaning, ridiculous positions on the most uncomfortable possible surfaces that go on forever, choppy edits that only draw attention t

scene title:  lesbian legal #14 [scene 1] performers:  serene siren, lila fray site:  girlfriends films production credits:  b. skow (dir.) trailer l: lila fray, r: serene siren well, i'll be damned. a girlfriends scene, a girlfriends movie even, with actual color grading. lesbian legal #14 was released on dvd in september 2018, so my ugly suspicion that a certain unemployed girl/girl director had migrated somewhere where production credits don't get posted can be allayed. not that anyone could mistake this for a girlsway scene: the pre-sex performances are still just as stilted and awkward, the camera work as profoundly uninteresting, and the script just as literal and entertainment-free as the classic girlfriends i know and love to hate. even so, the loss of the dingy, grimy encrustation that has been girlfriends' visual signature for so long transforms my basic sympathy for the scene: now, rather than loathing it on sight and grudgingly admitting when

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scene title:  piano pussy practice performers:  nicolette shea, jade baker site:  hot and mean  ◅  brazzers (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: jade baker, r: nicolette shea with her platinum hair, enhanced chest, and amazonian stature, nicolette shea is something of a throwback to the contract stars of the 1990s in an era of slim teens and well-preserved milfs. since the 1990s was when i was of an age to start taking notice of porn, i have a kind of self-indulgent admiration for ms. shea, despite the fact that i don't think i've ever fully respected a scene she's appeared in. she's frequently cast in roles where she physically dominates smaller, younger performers, and while i don't necessarily have an amazon kink i can't deny that the sheer visual contrast is arresting. jade baker isn't particularly tiny, but she is still putty in nicolette's hands here, as her facility with "brazzers face" (the shocked an

scene title:  use my shower and my slit performers:  alexa grace, kimmy granger site:  we live together  ◅  reality kings (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: alexa grace, r: kimmy granger i'd been waiting for a mindgeek scene to show just how mediocre they can get, and i should have known it would come from reality kings. we live together was once a legendary girl-girl brand, one of the first "reality" sites which in the mid-2000s featured the same two girls every episode picking up a third, bringing her back home with them, and fucking her brains out. even after that limited concept ran its course, it was still a solid site for a time, when french director greg lansky was shooting fashion-forward scenes in interesting locations. but these days, as one of two girl/girl brands in the reality kings megasite (the other being moms lick teens), it has no real identity: it seems that anything that's not glam enough for twistys, not silly

scene title:  private yoga instructor performers:  serena blair, kali roses site:  girlsway (gamma) production credits:  stills by alan (dir.), fistopher nolan (scr.) trailer l: serena blair, r: kali roses i've been looking forward to this scene in the schedule, because serena blair is always entertaining: she's one of the few porn actresses who has to improvise dialogue who seems to have actually absorbed the tenets of improv, always rolling with whatever her scene partner does and fleshing out her character or the situation with little quips and bits of business. she's also one of the top five all-time girl/girl performers in terms of sexual performance, which never hurts. this scenario, sadly, doesn't give her as much room to play as some others, and while kali roses is a perfectly good porn performer she's rather more straightforward as an actress, leaning on the smoky timbre of her voice as an index to sensuality rather than developing much of