the whole shebang

scene title:  axel braun's girlfest 2 [scene 5] performers:  carolina sweets, paige owens site:  wicked pictures production credits:  axel braun (dir.) trailer l: carolina sweets, r: paige owens it seems as though each scene in this release is aimed at a different segment of the girl/girl market: lacy and gina for the romance fans, ana and kenzie for the gonzo fans, reagan and jessica for the milf fans, emma and darcie for the glamour fans, and now carolina and paige for the fans of the "teen" category. i've said my piece about why i despise that category, and i won't repeat myself here; i'll just note that both women are in their early twenties and despite being styled in youthful fashions in the intro they do no pretending that they're younger than they are. i've reviewed carolina working for girlfriends and paige working for brazzers, and while i wasn't enormously impressed by either of them they are both perfectly competent at...

scene title:  just hanging out performers:  vienna black, kiarra nava'hoe site:  we live together  ◅  reality kings (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: vienna black, r: kiarra nava'hoe our last mindgeek scene, from the most consistently mediocre mindgeek brand. reality kings is a volume business, pumping out bland, forgettable product with no distinctive style and no ambition whatever. the fact that worthwhile scenes still come off that production line is probably due more to the law of averages (and to the anonymous producers of those particular scenes) than to corporate strategy or editorial oversight. vienna black has been in the business for two years, while kiarra kai is new as of 2019, and undergoing the usual new-girl trouble of settling on a name. (in general, when a performer goes by more than one name, i use the name in the site credits in the blurbs above but tag them by the name they use on social media so i ...

scene title:  twisted passions #26  [scene 2] performers:  xandra sixx, scarlett sage site:  girlfriends films production credits:  dan o'connell (dir.) trailer l: xandra sixx, r: scarlett sage and with this, at long last, this blog bids goodbye to girlfriends films. not farewell, because i now resent the company enough to wish no good to them, but goodbye. happy to see the back of it. never looking back. they can make the most spectacular performers look dull and the most creative stories interminable. it's really a special kind of alchemy, a formula that if it could be reverse-engineered to find the antidote could be used to save thousands of porn productions a year from awkwardness, stupidity, and visual blah. we're back in the lemoyne hotel; desk clerk scarlett sage (who cameoed in the previous twisted passions scene) is again snippy and condescending to xandra sixx (who i don't believe i've noticed since 2015, but has had a respectable car...

scene title:  surprising mom at the office performers:  aaliyah love, cadence lux site:  all girl massage  ◅  fantasy massage (gamma) production credits:  billy visual (dir.), zombie (ed.), fistopher nolan (scr.) trailer l: cadence lux, r: aaliyah love because april happens to have five mondays in it, we get five allgirlmassage scenes this month. the site is now in its tenth decade of operation (sixth under gamma) and has recently started to push slightly against the very limited format of the premise. only two of the scenes this month have been set in a massage parlor, and only one of those featured a standard masseuse/client setup. despite featuring the same set materials as the kenzie taylor/veronica valentine scene, this one doesn't seem to be set in a massage parlor, but some other place of business. details, as usual, are sketchy. aaliyah love is stressed out at work, so when her stepdaughter cadence lux (you can tell she's supposed ...

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scene title:  pussy eating ecstasy performers:  scarlett sage, lexi lore site:  teenikini production credits:  none listed website l: lexi lore, r: scarlett sage yup, i'm revolted. i expected to be revolted, and i am. this isn't the fault of scarlett sage and lexi lore, except insofar as accepting the booking is a tacit approval of the site's aesthetic. but if slim, small-breasted women refused to accept "teen" roles in porn, they would have very little work, so i can't really blame them. and they make the best of it, to the degree there's any best to be made. scarlett is a top-tier girl/girl performer, and lexi, who i know less well, is a spiegler girl, which is its own recommendation; they enjoy each other perfectly well. what the teenikini site is, is a site that features young women dressed in very tiny string bikinis who then masturbate or, when there's more than one of them, have sex. there's a fillip of narrative at the o...

scene title:  a not so secret snatch admirer performers:  rachael cavalli, abby adams site:  dyked  ◅  team skeet (paper street) production credits:  none listed trailer l: rachael cavalli, r: abby adams wow, this was hot garbage. there's a seed of an interesting story here: teen who finds herself accidentally locked out of her parents' home while they're away for the weekend takes refuge in the home of the older woman next door and seduces her isn't the most original idea in the world, but there are possibilities there. but even though the intro to the sex seemed to drag on forever, including multiple changes of clothing, so little happened that once the sex started it felt more like they were finally getting on with the porn than like it was the natural next step in their erotic journey. neither performer is any great shakes as an actor, although rachael cavalli at least has the self-possession of maturity. but abby adams as the instig...

scene title:  the watcher performers:  alexis fawx, kenzie reeves site:  sweetheart video (mile high) production credits:  ricky greenwood (dir.) trailer l: alexis fawx, r: kenzie reeves another sweetheart dvd begins its slow rollout here: older women younger girls #13, doing exactly what it says on the tin. this is kenzie reeves' fourth appearance this month, and third time being partnered with significantly older, taller women, which only makes sense: her diminutive stature and small frame make her one of the most in-demand pseudo-teen performers. her role here as the neighbor's daughter spying on alexis fawx as she bathes demands little from her in terms of acting; i'm not sure she even has a line of dialogue before the sex begins. it's alexis, with an extensive opening voiceover and patient solo sequence, who is the real star of the scene. the protracted sequence in which kenzie and alexis both masturbate to the thought of each other, sup...

scene title:  sugar mommy performers:  franny, sarah cute site:  old young lesbian love  ◅  21sextreme (gamma) production credits:  none listed trailer l: franny, r: sarah cute boy, this was just an interminable slog. i was fine with the last oldyounglesbianlove scene. i mean i didn't love it or give it a high score, but i didn't actively despise it. this one i did. comparing the two screengrabs for each scene gives an indication as to why: katana and bibi pink were shot in muted tones with plenty of rich dark colors, while franny and sarah cute are shot in blown-out light with tacky, jaundiced coloring. the central performances were fine, but hardly distinctive enough to overcome the sickly visuals; sarah cute's voiceover intro (her english is quite good, among the best continental european performers' i've heard) was entirely pro forma, and i found the food play at the beginning revolting. (yeah, that's an entirely personal bugbear, and if ...

scene title:  beautiful sunset performers:  nancy a, hazel site:  ultra films production credits:  fredy riger (dir.) trailer l: nancy a, r: hazel well, folks, i don't know what to think of this one. i can only assume that there must have been some serious problems on the day of shooting, or perhaps it's an artistic european choice i'm too unsophisticated an american to grasp: but this is the first time i've ever seen a complete scene fade out just as the second round begins. it's also the first time i've seen a full round of fingering where the camera is focused on the receiver's face throughout without cutting back to the action. which is unusual enough that it raises automatic suspicions: she must be faking it, she has a yeast infection or some other issue that make filming her downstairs inadvisable, and so forth. i don't particularly demand to see genital contact (people, and the things you can see in their faces, interest me more th...

scene title:  easter egg-gasm performers:  scarlett sage, shyla jennings site:  all her luv (missax) production credits:  missa x (dir., ed., scr.) trailer l: scarlett sage, r: shyla jennings if the last allherluv scene was the most complex, emotionally mature, and dramatically complete scene we've seen all month (thanks to writer-director whitney wright), this piece of holiday-themed fluff is entirely its opposite: a silly premise featuring two women playing well under their actual age, with no particular shape to the story, no narrative payoff to several seeds planted, or any complex emotions at all. which is fine: not every porn scene needs to be in contention for the palme d'or, and scarlett sage and shyla jennings are probably the two girl/girl stars most suited to playing up a silly premise with no real acting, but a great deal of sexual enthusiasm, necessary. what their relationship is supposed to be is never spelled out in the scene, bu...

scene title:  weekend kitchen sex performers:  kim, kaisa site:  x-art production credits:  none listed trailer l: kim, r: kaisa speaking of mercifully brief. i wasn't sure x-art would show up this month. apparently there's been a change in ownership or something; they hadn't updated with a girl/girl scene for a several months. but then this popped up, and i wasn't sorry to have an example of yet another way in which euro glamour sites both infantilize girl/girl porn and make it dull. but i was pleasantly surprised. there's still almost nothing here: kim (usually credited as katy rose, experienced, czech) and kaisa (kaisa nord, new, russian) make a pretense of doing the dishes and talk inaudibly in english, then splash each other with water and that's a good enough reason to remove clothing and start feeling each other up. but the filmmaking was exceptional enough, and the action engaging enough, that my attention was held throughout. excelle...

scene title:  making mommy squirm performers:  anya olsen, dava foxx site:  mommy's girl  ◅  girlsway (gamma) production credits:  craven moorehead (dir.), stratman90 (scr.) trailer l: dava foxx, r: anya olsen it's possible i'm just too jaded and grumpy to appreciate anything anymore, or maybe we've hit a singularly uninspired stretch of the month's releases. either way, this is the least engaging mommy's girl scene so far this month, and mommy's girl is for my money consistently the least engaging girlsway brand. some of that is due to the performances. anya olsen, who i don't recall ever having encountered before, is certainly having fun with her role, sliding from being shocked over finding out that her stepmother watches stepmom-stepdaughter porn to teasing her into sexual contact with campy glee; but once dava relents they have nowhere else to push the characters and just fall back on what the girlsway superfans call "mommy ta...

scene title:  domination performers:  vanna bardot, gina gerson site:  als scan (metart) production credits:  none listed trailer l: vanna bardot, r: gina gerson the absolute low point in the metart empire, as far as my preferences are concerned, is alsscan. als stands for all ladies shaved, which was a dumb fucking selling point even at the site's height ten years ago; now it's just an exhausted trope, faux-teens with protruding pelvic bones using the same cheap plastic toys on each other in every scene, world without end. there's a market for it, obviously, but i'm not part of that market demo. i don't talk here about what gets me hard or wet, but from a purely aesthetic point of view the "teen" niche doesn't interest me and from an ethical point of view really skeeves me out. further, in isolation i don't care whether performers sport pubic hair or not (it's their body), but making "shaved" a selling point trips m...

scene title:  not just a kiss performers:  misty stone, vina sky site:  sweetheart video (mile high) production credits:  ricky greenwood (dir.) trailer l: misty stone, r: vina sky i had almost given up on sweetheart's lesbian beauties series. i first noticed it four or five years ago, when sweetheart was one of a number of studios putting out sensual, story-driven girl/girl porn starring women of color. (r.i.p. filly films, love's kitty, and several others.) but when i started paying attention again in 2018, sweetheart seemed to have abandoned that market in favor of feature-oriented work à la new sensations (perhaps thanks to jackie st. james revamping sister brand sweet sinner). but looking back, i guess it was always common for the lesbian beauties series to skip a year. in any case, i'm really glad it came back this month, since my interest in highlighting the work of women of color has only grown. this round, the subtitle for the series i...

scene title:  sneaky selfie student performers:  janna hicks, sofie reyez site:  moms lick teens  ◅  reality kings (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: sofie reyez, r: janna hicks this right here is the kind of thing that makes me embarrassed to watch porn. not that the rest of it isn't embarrassing in its way too, even the best of it: watching people have sex for twenty minutes or more at a time is just a fundamentally weird thing to want to do, no matter how it's gussied up with production, story, character, and design. but this has none of that. it has terrible production values, terrible storytelling, terrible character work, and terrible design choices. a lot of that is, i'm sorry to say, on the performers. sofie reyez as a naughty student taking nude selfies in the school bathroom is barely tolerable; janna hicks as the teacher or administrator or something who catches her and switches in rapid succession from "you can...

scene title:  bending the ballerina performers:  mary moody, vera king site:  when girls play  ◅  twistys (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer r: mary moody, l: vera king twistys may have retired the mom knows best brand, but i'm interested to see that they aren't wholly giving up on older/younger pairings. not that there's that much of an age gap between ballet student mary moody (26) and instructor vera king (32), despite mary's line of dialogue claiming to be eighteen. of course eighteen is close to retirement in the world of ballet, and no actual teenager with mary's figure would be encouraged to dance; but porn covers a multitude of sins. both performers are relatively new, having only been in the industry a couple of years; and mary, as a girl/girl only performer (her main gig is camming), has shot relatively little. that relative inexperience bears out in the performances, which are perfectly pleasant but a little awk...

scene title:  girly bedroom performers:  kate rich, elin holm site:  ultra films production credits:  fredy riger (dir.) trailer l: kate rich, r: elin holm a light and silly amuse-bouche as a palate cleanser between two long and tedious scenes (i'm only guessing about the next one in sequence, but i know what's on the schedule). i typically think of porn scenes as being between twenty and fifty minutes long, but this one, at not even sixteen minutes, struggles to fill its running length. some consumers would say it isn't even porn, but erotica, since the two of them only touch each other intimately with underwear on and once the panties come off they only masturbate. i've reviewed elin holm before under the name elin flame for viv thomas (and yet another variation on her name is coming up), but kate rich is new to me; they're both russian, though, and speak not a word throughout. they're certainly cute, and appear to enjoy themselves, but that...

scene title:  mastur-baiting mommy performers:  emma hix, dee williams site:  mommy's girl  ◅  girlsway (gamma) production credits:  craven moorehead (dir.), fistopher nolan (scr.) trailer l: emma hix, r: dee williams the seventh girlsway scene i've reviewed for the month of april, and the third director to be called in as a replacement for stills by alan. craven moorehead has been a gamma contractor for a while now: he's filled in when alan couldn't maintain the onerous schedule throughout 2018, and he's the main director for pure taboo. not that this is shot anything like a pure taboo scene: it's still the pretty standard girlsway setup, but with a better eye and a cooler, less oversaturated color palette. dee in particular is highly flushed by the end of the scene, but rather than glowing bright red, as she would have under stills by alan's camera, she's just a delicate rose color. the subdued colors are suited to a scene that take...

scene title:  black sheep cousins performers:  kendra spade, eliza ibarra site:  webyoung  ◅  girlsway (gamma) production credits:  stills by alan (dir.), zombie (ed.) ossienelson4 (scr.) trailer l: kendra spade, r: eliza ibarra if, as i hope i've made clear i wish to be the case, these last few scenes directed by stills by alan late last year are the last i ever see from him, then it's appropriate that at least one of them show off how terribly unimaginative he could be as a director. the blandness, stupidity, and tediousness of this scene should be remembered as his hallmarks, just as much as the novelty of his work as it first appeared back in 2015-2016 (when bree mills was still much more directly involved in girlsway). that blandness, stupidity, and tediousness can only partly be laid at the feet of the performers, both of whom i've seen better work from but who did not appear to be trying terribly hard on the day of this shoot. they'...