the whole shebang

scene title:  locker room lesbian fun performers:  mercedes carrera, lyra law, emma hix, olive glass site:  zero tolerance production credits:  mike quasar (dir.) trailer l to r: lyra law, mercedes carrera, olive glass, emma hix although this is one of the longest scenes i've reviewed so far on the site, the review will be brief. there's little to say. i'm using the "recycled" tag for anything that was released on dvd before being posted on websites for streaming or download, and this is one of the oldest scenes yet: its parent dvd, lesbian gym teacher gangbang, was released in april 2018. it barely counts as new, but because it hasn't been available in any format higher than 480p before now, i'm reviewing it. mercedes carrera (whose politics i despise, but about whose guilt or innocence of the current charges against her i am unwilling to speculate) plays the gym teacher ravished in the locker room by her three students, none of whom are ...

scene title:  rocky loves kate obsession performers:  kate kennedy, rocky emerson site:  spizoo production credits:  none listed trailer l: kate kennedy, r: rocky emerson i've talked at length about my feelings on gonzo already; and if mason at lesbianx produces some of the best gonzo in porn, the mostly uncredited and wildly variable production crews that produce content for spizoo produce some of the most consistently mediocre gonzo. which is a shame, because i like the ethos behind spizoo a lot: founded by 2000s-era porn legend jessica jaymes, it's closer to a partnership with the performers who use the service to host their content than it is a corporate employer of talent. but not every performer has the best eye for or interest in quality control; so spizoo's output is, as i say, variable. i know kate kennedy and rocky emerson more by reputation than through having seen much of their work; they seem like perfectly lovely people, and fully e...

scene title:  straight until wet performers:  mia lelani, brooklyn gray site:  mylfed  ◅  mylf (paper street) production credits:  none listed trailer r: brooklyn gray, l: mia lelani the last time i reviewed a scene featuring mia lelani, i said that if the baseline for competent porn was that good, the industry would be in much better shape. the baseline for competent porn, however, is much closer to this. an excruciatingly prolonged setup in which none of the people involved act like people actually would, clothing that nobody who isn't in a porn would be caught dead wearing, sexuality introduced not because it arises from the situation but because it's a porn so it has to, a generic upper-middle-class setting that for some reason still echoes like a warehouse, the premise entirely abandoned after thirty seconds of over-the-top moaning, ridiculous positions on the most uncomfortable possible surfaces that go on forever, choppy edits that ...

scene title:  lesbian legal #14 [scene 1] performers:  serene siren, lila fray site:  girlfriends films production credits:  b. skow (dir.) trailer l: lila fray, r: serene siren well, i'll be damned. a girlfriends scene, a girlfriends movie even, with actual color grading. lesbian legal #14 was released on dvd in september 2018, so my ugly suspicion that a certain unemployed girl/girl director had migrated somewhere where production credits don't get posted can be allayed. not that anyone could mistake this for a girlsway scene: the pre-sex performances are still just as stilted and awkward, the camera work as profoundly uninteresting, and the script just as literal and entertainment-free as the classic girlfriends i know and love to hate. even so, the loss of the dingy, grimy encrustation that has been girlfriends' visual signature for so long transforms my basic sympathy for the scene: now, rather than loathing it on sight and grudgingly admitti...

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scene title:  piano pussy practice performers:  nicolette shea, jade baker site:  hot and mean  ◅  brazzers (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: jade baker, r: nicolette shea with her platinum hair, enhanced chest, and amazonian stature, nicolette shea is something of a throwback to the contract stars of the 1990s in an era of slim teens and well-preserved milfs. since the 1990s was when i was of an age to start taking notice of porn, i have a kind of self-indulgent admiration for ms. shea, despite the fact that i don't think i've ever fully respected a scene she's appeared in. she's frequently cast in roles where she physically dominates smaller, younger performers, and while i don't necessarily have an amazon kink i can't deny that the sheer visual contrast is arresting. jade baker isn't particularly tiny, but she is still putty in nicolette's hands here, as her facility with "brazzers face" (the shocked an...

scene title:  use my shower and my slit performers:  alexa grace, kimmy granger site:  we live together  ◅  reality kings (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: alexa grace, r: kimmy granger i'd been waiting for a mindgeek scene to show just how mediocre they can get, and i should have known it would come from reality kings. we live together was once a legendary girl-girl brand, one of the first "reality" sites which in the mid-2000s featured the same two girls every episode picking up a third, bringing her back home with them, and fucking her brains out. even after that limited concept ran its course, it was still a solid site for a time, when french director greg lansky was shooting fashion-forward scenes in interesting locations. but these days, as one of two girl/girl brands in the reality kings megasite (the other being moms lick teens), it has no real identity: it seems that anything that's not glam enough for twistys...

scene title:  private yoga instructor performers:  serena blair, kali roses site:  girlsway (gamma) production credits:  stills by alan (dir.), fistopher nolan (scr.) trailer l: serena blair, r: kali roses i've been looking forward to this scene in the schedule, because serena blair is always entertaining: she's one of the few porn actresses who has to improvise dialogue who seems to have actually absorbed the tenets of improv, always rolling with whatever her scene partner does and fleshing out her character or the situation with little quips and bits of business. she's also one of the top five all-time girl/girl performers in terms of sexual performance, which never hurts. this scenario, sadly, doesn't give her as much room to play as some others, and while kali roses is a perfectly good porn performer she's rather more straightforward as an actress, leaning on the smoky timbre of her voice as an index to sensuality rather than developing muc...

scene title:  nipple to nipple performers:  danai, maely site:  abby winters production credits:  giulia (dir.) trailer l: maely, r: danai this is, to the best of my recollection, the first abbywinters video i've watched all the way through in more than twenty years of watching girl/girl porn. partly that's because i've never had much interest in "amateur" content, preferring to indulge the heightened fantasy of mainstream porn, fully aware of how unrealistic it is. but also it's because, as far as i could tell from my very cursory awareness of the brand for the past couple of decades, it was very white. so i was pleasantly surprised when the first girl/girl video posted to the site this month features a black woman. browsing through recent postings, it's not as lily-white as i remembered (or assumed), although i'd venture to say it's still very middle-class, in the way that a lot of bespoke, artisanal internet content is, because...

scene title:  mia's toes need worshipping performers:  mia, lulya site:  strapless dildo production credits:  none listed trailer l: lulya, r: mia a rare sighting: a post-2017 update of the straplessdildo website. as the name suggests, it's a site with a very simple premise: instead of wearing strap-ons with, well, straps, models secure the dildos they're using within custom-made pantyhose and then proceed to act like the molded plastic is their penis. (some videos even have fake ejaculate spurt from the dildos at the end. of course there's a market for that.) their updates, once weekly, have slowed to a trickle in recent years. the bloom is very much off the rose, as the novelty of the premise wore off some time ago, and only a few hardy perennial models seem to have stuck around. this pairing of latvians, mia wielding the dildo and lulya receiving, is the third time they've worked together for the site (oddly, only mia has ever been credited; i...

scene title:  heartbreakers performers:  charlie red, leanne lace, nancy a site:  nubile films  ◅  nubiles production credits:  none listed trailer l: leanne lace, c: charlie red, r: nancy a i've now had occasion to look at several threesomes featuring beautiful european models who barely say anything throughout the scene, and this one, purely in terms of how well the performers do their job and how well they are photographed, is probably the best so far. that it still scores lower than the lesbea scene released the the same day is due to my sjw, or diversity, points, which is exactly how they are meant to function: mere quality isn't good enough. which isn't to say this is a great scene, only just barely scraping the surface of adequate. i believed in the sex the models (two czech, one ukrainian) were having, if not in the flimsy introcution: leanne is working out, charlie is bathing, nancy is browsing porn on the very website she's app...

scene title:  kenzie reeves, jayden starr & victoria cakes performers:  kenzie reeves, jayden starr, victoria cakes site:  zebra girls  ◅  dogfart production credits:  none listed trailer l: victoria cakes, c: kenzie reeves, r: jayden starr well, this is a whole lot. let's start with the site. zebra girls, the girl/girl site from dogfart network (yes, it's the worst-named company in porn, an industry with stiff competition in that arena), which focuses entirely on interracial pairings, has frequently been one of my guilty pleasures over the past couple of years. or not guilty, really: conflicted. it's one of the few girl/girl sites to reliably feature black women, but it's also shot terribly and has frequently featured uncomfortable, borderline racist premises playing on white anxieties about "angry black women." there's a little bit of that here: towards the end, jayden and victoria make a half-hearted attempt to push the scene int...

scene title:  sex toy sparks lesbian threesome performers:  boni, lina mercury, mia casanova site:  lesbea  ◅  sexyhub (really useful) production credits:  none listed trailer r: mia casanova, c: boni, l: lina mercury one thing european girl/girl studios are uniformly excellent at is finding beautiful women. regardless of whether they are any good at acting, projecting a personality, or giving pleasure to other women, they sure do look nice in the attempt. here we have a very slight premise on which to hang a scene, but it's miles better than no premise at all, which has been lesbea's standard procedure until quite recently. italian mia, russian lina and colombian boni are having a pillow fight on, presumably, boni's bed. at least when lina picks up a pillow and discovers a large black dildo underneath, boni admits it's hers in one of the very few spoken lines (in english, no less) of the scene. apparently the very thought of a dildo gets ...

scene title:  i dare you performers:  shyla jennings, samantha hayes site:  when girls play  ◅  twistys (mindgeek) production credits:  none listed trailer l: samantha hayes, r: shyla jennings shyla jennings is almost thirty. here, she plays an eighteen year old, as she has for more than ten years and presumably will continue to do until she retires from the business. i mention this not to shame her for taking roles that her chirpy voice, short stature and still-fresh face allow her to, but to condemn the industry for having so many eighteen-year-old roles to cast her in and so few that allow her to play her actual age and level of experience. not that she's such a fool as to pretend to not know what she's doing, regardless of what the script says: virginal fumbling isn't erotic. but i'm old and weary enough that neither is the idea (let alone the reality) of an eighteen-year-old. teenagers, as a rule, aren't interesting people. they don't k...

scene title:  all natural anal lesbians performers:  georgia jones, izzy lush site:  lesbianx  ◅  xempire production credits:  mason (dir.) trailer l: georgia jones, r: izzy lush i haven't talked about gonzo here much yet. partly that's because the girl/girl audience tends to be much more invested in story and character than in just wanting to see sex acts, so scenario girl/girl porn is better financially rewarded than gonzo girl/girl. i've certainly expressed that preference here. but there's good and bad gonzo, as there is good and bad everything. gonzo porn has developed a reputation for being more extreme, rough, and even degrading than scenario porn, but there's nothing inherent in the format that means it has to be. "gonzo porn" was coined in reference to gonzo journalism, in which reporters acknowledge their own involvement and impact in the story instead of maintaining the traditional view-from-nowhere pretense. gonzo porn, then, ...

scene title:  fam fiction performers:  alina lopez, london river site:  mommy's girl  ◅  girlsway (gamma) production credits:  casey calvert & eli cross (dir.), midnight (scr.) trailer l: london river, r: alina lopez i think i've mentioned here before that i'm skeptical at best of the stepmother-stepdaughter genre of girl/girl porn. not that incest or pseudo-incest isn't a standard and even classic subgenre in the erotic canon; but the unresolvable tension in the internet era between catering to the fantasies of mommy-daughter fetishists and staying on the right side of the united states penal code (not to mention the discomfort of many performers and producers with the topic) makes for awkward and half-baked fantasies that rarely lean into the cultural taboo, have no time to develop believable character relations, and has been so overproduced for the last half-decade that there are never going to be any new or unexpected approaches to t...

scene title:  hot girl on girl sex on the couch performers:  kenzie taylor, cadence lux site:  zero tolerance production credits:  mike quasar (dir.) trailer l: kenzie taylor, r: cadence lux the second installment from the dvd of is it wrong she's my stepmom? vol. 3 is both exactly as well-shot as the first and much better performed. not that mia lelani and esperanza del horno were at all bad, just relatively subdued by comparison. kenzie and cadence don't just enjoy having sex with each other, they enjoy teasing each other, fleshing out their characters' relationship and history, and dirty-talking throughout. kenzie in particular is an endless font of erotic conversation, sharp observation, and enthusiastic encouragement to her scene partner: she, not the director, should probably be writing the scripts for her scenes. i've noted before that i don't particularly care for the stepmother-stepdaughter premise in girl/girl, but that's because that...

scene title:  anal mind games performers:  casey calvert, kira noir, whitney wright site:  everything butt ◅ kink production credits:  kirin kurai (dir.) trailer l: whitney wright, c: casey calvert, r: kira noir now this is extreme fetish porn done right. it's still not remotely my thing (i had to look away while the camera stared down the barrel of kira noir's asshole spread wide with a speculum), but it was well-made, with great performances, a relatively intelligent premise (you know, for fetish porn), and even, shockingly, attractive cinematography. casey, kira and whitney were the selling point, of course: all three spiegler girls, all three among the best actors of the current moment in porn as well as unafraid to do just about anything with their bodies. casey and kira have done more extreme work, while whitney, who is newer, has embraced more acting-heavy roles and has earned a reputation as a beloved weirdo. the checklists of st...

scene title:  fast fisting orgasm performers:  angel, victoria pure site:  fister twister (g max division) production credits:  none listed trailer l: victoria pure, r: angel surprise surprise, the reviewer who wants porn to have beautiful cinematography and narrative structure and engaging characters and people who reflect the actual diversity of the world hates european fetish porn. i'll keep this brief. you know if this kind of thing is for you. it isn't for me. story and personality, not medicalized anatomy, is what i find erotic. the act of fisting specifically i have no problem with, it can be a beautiful expression of intimacy; it's the fetishization of it as spectacle, the circus-performance aspect on display here, that grosses me out. nevertheless, it has its place. i take it the performers who engage in it enjoy it, or at least don't mind it and enjoy getting paid. angel, the one receiving the speculum, the giant racialized dildo, and fi...

scene title:  two girls one lake 2 performers:  sabrisse a, lorena b site:  sexart (metart) production credits:  don caravaggio (dir.), laurie adams (ed.) trailer l: lorena b, r: sabrisse a i must say, particularly immediately on the heels of the beautiful sandra shine scene for viv thomas, this was a disappointment. i normally love the visual style of sexart's scenes, especially andrej lupin's use of light and shadow; and don caravaggio's nom de porn led me to expect similar a tonal lusciousness. but a white couch against a picture window is hard to shoot, so that only from certain angles, and when the sun emerges from behind the clouds, does the light really wash over the bodies in a satisfyingly beautiful way. otherwise, the room lighting is harsh and unpleasant. even so, the photography remains stiffly-composed and inelegant, lacking the intimacy of shine's work. even the more heavily-processed introduction set to a generic romantic pop son...